It’s not a competition – why do some people minimize their trauma?

Minimizing one’s trauma is more common than you might think. While traumatic events come in all shapes and sizes, many individuals are taught that they need to put the past behind them and focus on the future. As therapists, you know that many clients attempt to cope with trauma by minimizing the experience, placing distance between themselves and the event, and attempting to bury the trauma somewhere where they might not feel it.

The irony is that when clients minimize their trauma, they end up doing more harm than good. While everyone shows the effects of trauma a little differently, unresolved trauma can have a lasting impact on physical, mental, and emotional health as well as decision-making. What are some of the most common reasons that clients do this and what are some strategies providers can implement to help?

4 reasons that clients minimize their trauma:

1. To cope – As mentioned earlier, individuals may minimize trauma as an attempt to cope with the experience. No matter what occurred in their life, trauma leaves a large impact. By minimizing it, clients try to make their trauma smaller than it actually is, attempting to make it less of a big deal.
2. To feel like they have control – By somewhat determining the size of their trauma, some clients can start to feel like they have some control over it. If a client is experiencing huge feelings, but tells you that it’s not a big deal, they control the narrative of how the trauma is impacting them. For clients that feel trauma is overwhelming, this makes sense.
3. Fear – Some clients may minimize their trauma out of fear. The idea of addressing it or acknowledging its impact is a huge deal. Not everyone is ready for that at the same point in their care.
4. Shame in comparison – Some people feel shame in comparison to the traumas of others. Although someone may have gone through something traumatic, they may minimize their trauma based on the thought that others may have gone through something worse.
5. Avoidance – Addressing trauma is not going to feel good. There is no avoiding it once you start. Clients may try to diminish the value or presence of their trauma as a method of trying to avoid those painful feelings. Some individuals who experience trauma may even block the memories from their minds to avoid the feelings they bring up. 

Interventions For Helping Clients Navigate Trauma: 

There are many different types of evidence-based practices that therapists can use help clients navigate trauma, including:

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing Therapy (EMDR) – EMDR is an evidence-based therapy that involves moving the eyes in a specific way while you process traumatic memories.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) – CBT is an evidence-based therapy and is the practice of helping patients identify and recognize thought patterns in their everyday life that are working against their goals while working to alter those patterns. Providers can work with clients to identify thought patterns toward trauma, how they may be creating blocks, and how to work past them.

Trauma-Informed Care (TF-CBT) – For the behavioral health setting, TF-CBT is evidence-based and is designed for children, teens, and their caregivers to address the negative effects of trauma similarly to CBT.